Even Cowboys Get the Blues (Script Sample)

Artwork by Lily Arzt.

Setting: 

An old school barn doubling as a therapist’s office. Rustic, warm, and cozy with Western furnishings. A wooden puppet saw-”horse” is in the center of the room, a couch is in the upstage left corner. A phone and some flowers are on the stage left wall. Up above, is a cross. On stage right, there is a wooden jail door situated in front of an empty space. A small table is tucked against the stage right wall. The audience sits in a thrust configuration.

Characters:

The Therapist (just the head puppet aka Lil D): A styrofoam googly-eyed therapist head on a stick that is responsible for giving Better-Help style counseling and guidance to the main character, The Cowboy. Hell-bent on diagnosing The Cowboy. Not so secretly in charge of her relationship with Brad, the cop. Sassy. Voiced by the AI used for Tik Tok voiceovers. 

The Therapist (full sized puppet aka Big D): A styrofoam, googly-eyed, full-bodied, agitated version of the therapist – the therapist’s “bad side” made with a DSM-5 body, electrocuted guitar-string hair, and two mannequin arms. She has nothing nice to say about The Cowboy. Comes about only when angry. Speaks in deep, throaty screams with exaggerated vowels. 

CHAPTER 7: Lil D sees The Cowboy Puppet “Clearly” 

Scene 1: Lil D Thinks about Government/God

Content: With the stage dark, audiences cut to Lil D’s internal monologue as the light shines on the therapist’s head. Lil D has voices of Trump saying “In America, we don’t worship Government, we worship God” remixed to sound like Kanye West’s old tracks in her head.  She is thinking “wow, I can’t believe God drove this guy to kill this person, who even worships God”

Characters: Lil D

Audio: Trump’s one word sentence “In America, we don’t worship Government, we worship God” cut to sound like a rap song. 

(Light shines on Lil D and holds, as if she’s listening to the audio herself) 

Scene 2: Lil D Gets Mad

Content: Lil D breaks out of her reverie, aghast at the violence that The Cowboy has just enacted – shocked that The Cowboy could actually kill someone, and more than that, that she is helping him! Big D, her angry alter ego, slowly comes out, infuriated at this turn of events. 

Characters: Lil D, Big D

Audio: Pre-recorded AI Tik Tok Therapist voice in dialogue with a pre-recorded home-made Big D voice – deeper, more angry, and human than Lil D’s voice; Bernie soundbite thrown in. 

(Lil D’s head comes to life via handheld stick maneuvering, shaking and gesticulating as she talks) 

Lil D: I just don’t understand it. How can people fall for all this propaganda? Now that I think about it – I can’t believe I’ve been helping this absolute criminal. He’s on death row, what was I thinking? You know, violence is NEVER the answer. I don’t believe in political violence on any sides and this just - it just - it feels political. No one deserves this - not those poor CEOs, not even crazy red Charlie Kirk - no one! Right, and also - you know it took us a while to get there – but black lives DO matter. I mean what would Bernie say?

(A soundbite of Bernie saying: Israel has the right to defend itself) 

Lil D: See? just okay so a little political violence is okay. But I know he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t actually condone violence. Please, just defense. And you know, what this cowboy was doing was not in defense. I mean I just – I thought we were beyond this and all this propaganda – all the guns and ughh it just makes me so mad sometimes. But I shouldn’t become too rageful…ugh

(Big D slowly comes into visibility over the next set of lines, a spotlight shining on her her head poking out, which is out in full by the end of this scene) 

Big D: UGH. 

Lil D: I need a drink

Big D: UGH. 

Lil D: don’t lose your bearings now girl

BIG D: I MEAN JESUS FUCK. 

Lil D: Oh my - What’s happening?  

BIG D: I THOUGHT WE’VE MOVED BEYOND GODS

Lil D: Oh my – my voice jeez what’s goin 

Big D: AND THOSE DAMN 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS

Lil D: Is that me? 

Big D: UGHHHHH I’M JUST SO FUCKING MAD. 

Lil D: oh, I see, that’s just my little angry voice…don’t be alarmed